


Binding the Universe Together

by misszeldasayre



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 06:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13405053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misszeldasayre/pseuds/misszeldasayre
Summary: After his humiliating defeat on Crait, Kylo Ren vows to track down Rey. Attempting to exploit his mental connection with her, he chases her throughout the galaxy, the fear of failure on his tail. Set afterThe Last Jedi.





	Binding the Universe Together

"You're out of moves," Ben says as he taps his holographic dreadnought one space forward. It aims, locks, and fires on Dal Bootha, blowing up the final planet in his father's deck.

Han shakes his head ruefully as Chewie barks, half chuckle and half whine. "You're getting better, kid," he laughs and when he reaches out to ruffle his son's hair, Ben doesn't squirm out of his reach. He may not be able to beat his father's flight records, but he's finally out-strategized him. The famous Han Solo, finally beaten at Twi'lek Imperium. Ben can't wait to tell his mother about this.

Then he watches as his father touches the remainder of his holographic fleet which hovers in the enemy ships' lines of fire. Han nudges his hospital ship onto a trajectory towards Ben's dreadnought leading the charge.

"Wait!" Ben splutters. "That ship— you can't—"

Han's shrug comes too easily; it turns Ben's stomach and sears itself into nightmares that emerge years later when Ben is faced with the opportunity to sacrifice soldiers to end his enemies. The hologram crackles, shivers as the hospital ship dives into the dreadnought, engulfing it in fire.

"Gotcha, kid."

"You-you— those were your people!"

"And this is my victory," Han says. "Bet you didn't see that coming."

Silence is childish; Ben's painfully aware of that, but it doesn't stop him from sulking as Chewie slaps his father on the back.

"You think too much with this," Han says and smacks Ben's chest on his way out. The thump of his hand, echoed hollowly by his son's heart, rings in the silence of the bridge.

Even after the  _Millennium Falcon_  docks at their home on Chandrila, Ben refuses to leave the ship. Hours after the game has ended, Leia finds her son curled up on the bench around the holographic game table, his unruly locks framing the frown marring his face.

* * *

The final victory against his father is Ben's for the taking. It should taste like sweet oro bark melting against his tongue under twin summer suns. Instead, defeating Han is bitter dricklefruit on an empty stomach. No matter what Ben knocks back, the sting doesn't leave his mouth. It only eases when  _her_  face creeps into his mind, invading his thoughts and probing the corners of his brain. Perhaps it's because she sees him the way he sees himself: a monster.

Her mind is grey, all clouds and whipped foam waves, a rocky island rising tall from the mist that even his senses cannot penetrate. The innermost parts of her consciousness lie before him, yet he can't forge through the turbulent water and climb the rocky shores that taunt him in plain sight. Untrained, unrefined, she still manages to elude him.

But the more time they spend in each other's presence, the more she reveals. After that damned  _Falcon_  flies away, leaving Kylo surrounded by sand skiff shrapnel, a bloody salt battleground underneath his feet, he does not summon his forces in pursuit. Instead he commands Hux to leave this stripped mining planet, retreating to their fleet.

There, Kylo waits for Rey. Sure enough, her mind calls out to his. This time, he recognizes her presence as he registers a foreign emotion creeping into his thoughts: curiosity, not his own.

He waits for her to break the silence.

She doesn't speak so much as think.  _Ben._

Not monster or murderer. Ben. Still, it grates against Kylo's senses. The name, no longer part of him, is just like the Jedi: another relic from the past that Rey holds to. How can he make her understand it's time to make space for a new order?

Perhaps she senses his conflict, but her thoughts, steeped so vibrantly in relief, cling to his movements.  _Where are you?_

 _Chasing you._ He doesn't mean to think it like that. He had planned to dress his words for battle using shields like "crushing the Galactic Rebellion" and "seeking to eradicate the Jedi." But she sees past his defenses. Though he's fully clothed, Kylo can't shake the feeling that she's disrobing him.

 _I won't lead you to me._  Her thoughts brim fiery, scorching their connection.

_I know._

His admission stops her in her tracks. Beneath the magma of her exasperation and Kylo's chilly response lies his carefully concealed hope that their conversations will reveal something tangible, something trackable.

There isn't more to say, so Kylo lets their breathing even until only one pair of lungs heaves in his ears.

* * *

She almost hits him with her quarterstaff the next time their minds meet. It's spinning towards his head before he jumps out of her reach.

 _Kriff,_  he curses, shaking his head.  _I'm not here to hurt you._

Beads of sweat frame her face, drip from her lip as she steadies her staff.  _Practicing_ , she thinks by way of apology.  _For the next time we meet._ At his harsh laugh, she tightens her grip on the staff.  _Don't make me hit you again._

His hands fly up reflexively. Upsetting her now will only disturb their connection. He won't get any information from her if he's not careful.  _Wouldn't dream of it, milady._  A silly title, Kylo knows it. Whenever his father had used it on his mother, she'd roll her eyes. But using it here draws some of the stiffness from Rey's stance.

 _You still haven't found me._ Part relief and part challenge. Stars, the fight pulsing in every inch of her body calls to Kylo. She's power and darkness and a sprawling sensation of falling.

He feels the slow smile spreading across his face before he becomes conscious of its presence.  _It's only a matter of time until I do._

Scowling, she turns her back; he's left mentally tracing the strands of hair matting at the nap of her neck.

 _You can't outrun me,_  he reminds her.  _No matter where you go or where you hide, I'll hunt you down and the Resistance, too._

She spins, fury igniting a pang in his chest.  _This is just a game to you, wiping out every trace of the Resistance? These people are my life. This is my family._

* * *

Late one night, they connect again. Drowsiness takes the edge off of Rey's temper. She stifles a yawn before standing to meet him.

 _Don't let me interrupt you._  He sits several paces from her form, the metal floor of his berth cold against his thin sleeping pants. No matter how hard he strains into their connection, he cannot sense where she is located.

 _Would it kill you to wear a shirt?_  She doesn't bother concealing the thought, but he also notices the way her eyes catch on his chest.

_Tell me your location and I'll put one on._

Her surprised laugh fills his bunk with light.  _Tempting._

In the silence that follows, he hopes to make out the sounds of her surroundings, but he only hears the rustle of grass and— the wind? Before he can probe further, she interrupts with a half-formed thought transcending the boundaries between their consciousnesses:  _lonely._

_You're lonely?_

She shakes her head.  _The energy surrounding you feels lonely._

 _I'm not._  He sounds petulant, even in his own mind.

"Ben…"

After sharing their thoughts with each other for so long, Kylo finds Rey's voice jarring. Briefly he's paralyzed at the sound. When she repeats his name again, he slams his fist into the steel floor of his cabin.

He doesn't open his mind to her for several days, keeping himself busy with routine fleet inspections and meetings with his generals. Only his thoughts rattling empty in his head remind him of Rey's absence.

At the end of the week, he reaches for her, but there's no answer.

* * *

One month later, the snowy dreamscape of Kylo Ren's dream shifts from purple sparks to salty spray. He's walking along the shore of an unfamiliar ocean, blue moon hanging low over his head. The tide swells, the fine dark sand littered with shells and kelp. His boots catch in the sand, sucked in just enough so every stride he takes propels him forward even as he's pulled back.

Nestled in the dune rising before him, a figure rests in the seagrass. He tromps a slow, agonizing path towards his quarry until the moon washes the figure's features in blue. The familiar scowl is gone, but the rest is positively her.

Rey's eyes flutter open as Kylo crouches above her. "You're here," she gasps, and for a moment he doesn't know how to quell her panic that rises like the tide.

"A dream," he reassures her, praying to the gods that admitting as much won't snap him from this paradise back into reality. She doesn't relax until her staff is securely in hand, but she also doesn't rise from her resting position. The windswept hair falling loose from her buns, the tightly curved body— Kylo can't look away.

They settle into a silence that tastes familiar. The waves hiss and slosh in the distance.

"Have you been to the sea?" Rey asks once they've sat side by side for Force knows how long.

"Many times." When her gaze slides from his scar to his eyes, he knows he commands her attention. Although the bitter dricklefruit taste rises again, he forges forward, anything to keep her focus. "My mother took me. When she wasn't busy working to establish the New Republic. We would walk to the beach near our home, eating dinner as we watched the sunset. She got busier, though, and I left to train with—"

She nods, and he's grateful she doesn't expect him to continue. A flare of jealousy rolls over Kylo, confusing him until he realizes the emotion stems from her half of their mental connection. Rey flushes when she recognizes he has sensed what she tries to choke down. Propping herself up on one elbow, hand still gripping her staff, she swivels to face the sea. Her profile, Cyrene silk under the moonlight, shudders as she struggles to find the words she seeks.

"I would have killed to have parents like yours," she says, but her customary bite is absent.

"I know."

Her shoulders slump. When his fingertips wend their way around her shoulder, she doesn't pull away. "They loved you like their own kid," he murmurs.

For once, the biting reply that Kylo has come to expect from her never comes. Rey simply nestles into the crook of his arm, and they sit like that as they watch the tide flow in.

* * *

When Kylo wakes, his face is damp, his boots speckled with sand. Head spinning, heart racing, he bolts upright, sheets tangled at the foot of his bed.

Doreen. She's on Doreen.

He's never been to Doreen during his visits to the Mid Rim, but he knows with a certainty permeating his bones that Rey has sequestered herself on that planet. Whether she's alone or with the rest of the Resistance, Kylo doesn't know.

What he does know is that he's going to find her.

Fastening his cloak at his throat, he slips on a pair of gloves and strides out of his chamber, lightsaber in hand. "Ready my ship!" he commands the nearest stormtrooper attendant stationed at his door.

As he boards his Silencer, Kylo can't shake the prickling sensation that he's about to be outmaneuvered, even though his father is long gone and he holds his enemy's location in his hands.

* * *

Under the pilotage of Han Solo, the  _Millennium Falcon_  could complete the Kessel Run in just twelve parsecs— a super-powered feat of navigation. Under Ben Solo's capable hands, the TIE Silencer perching on the edge of the Senex sector could cross the twelve parsecs separating it from the  _Falcon_  concealed in the seagrass below. An easy journey, the distant stars promising smooth sailing.

The distance spread out before Kylo Ren can't be shaved down to record acclaim. But navigating it still requires record strength, strength he's not sure he has. Rey's signature Force haze beckons to him, asleep once again. The tendrils connecting their mind pull him to the watery surface just beyond his field of vision.

He should've known she'd find a planet like Doreen. After months of chasing fumes, he should've looked for her island dream, a yawning sea. But until she tugged at him as he slept, the idea never crossed his mind. Hunting down old Rebel bases, monitoring the airwaves to intercept communications, yes. Drawing on his glimpses into her mind, no.

It almost feels like cheating, using the knowledge he wrested from her before she discovered how to erect her mental defenses. A clean victory, this won't be. And the thought frustrates Kylo.

Pummeling his fist into the dashboard, Kylo's grunts echo in the empty cockpit until he is left heaving, hands hanging uselessly as he stares at the star system unfolding before him. Unbidden, his father's words creep in to fill the silence: "You think too much with this."

That worthless pile of steaming bantha fodder won't leave Kylo alone in life or death. At the imagined exchange, Kylo grits his teeth and urges his ship forward. He can't let Rey evade him any longer, and he certainly can't display the sort of weakness that his father misnamed heart.

* * *

Fog envelops the Silencer as Kylo ducks out of its hatch. The first rays of sunrise prickle through the mist, promising a sweet namana custard sky. Barely able to make out the sand dunes ahead, he follows the whispering waves. The  _Falcon_ , well-hidden, can't be found from his viewpoint here. Scaling the dunes may allow him to see above the fog and find his target.

Seagrass brushes his pants, crunching underfoot while he crests the hill. As the fog slowly recedes, the shoreline comes into view: thick foam collecting where sea meet sand. The Doreenian ambergris froths and bubbles, reflecting the peachy blue clouds, ready to vaporize if touched. For a moment, as he examines the ambergris foam, Kylo thinks of soft curves and the smell of salt pressed into his arms.

Then he remembers what's at stake: the survival of the First Order. He's come too far, sacrificed too much old to protect the new. Rey may be entrancing, but by clinging to the Resistance's antiquated vision of the galaxy, she's orchestrated her own defeat. In the end, Kylo will outplay her, and she won't be ruthless enough to fight back.

He scans the beach extending before him, but there's no sign of hjs father's legacy that's eluded him for so long. The  _Millennium Falcon_  doesn't mock him under the sugary sunrise. Rey has tricked him again.

Dropping to his knees, driving his fists into the sand, he howls, "Where are you?" at the clouds, but the gulls flying overhead only squawk in reply.

* * *

Their connection ignites once he's back on board his ship, lifting away from a new day on Doreen. She does not yell. He does not apologize. There is a hardness unfurling between them, an intimacy that evaporates as they stare down each other.

_I'm not sorry for hunting you._

_I'm not sorry for leaving._

"Is this what we're going to always be? Chasing each other across the stars?" Although he can sense her meaning from their mental connection, she takes the time to speak each word into existence. They form a constellation separating their bodies even though they stand only a hair's breadth apart.

"We could be working together instead of self-destructing."

"Until you aren't bent on snuffing the life out of every corner of this galaxy, we can't work together." Sadness seeps from her voice, her posture, the way she reaches for his hands yet can't bring herself to grab them.

"From out of the darkness, light is reborn," he urges her. "Balance."

Her face falls. "You aren't the one who gets to decide what balance is going to look like for our galaxy. This isn't a game, Ben."

Frustration blossoms in his fists like the tide. "You don't get to call me that."

"No," she nods, "I don't. But there's no one else left to remind you of who you used to be."

He didn't see it coming, but he won't stay around for her to launch the final blow. He breaks their connection, and the image of her hands reaching for his is replaced by the hard metal hull of the Silencer.

Alone, defeated, Kylo Ren is out of moves and Rey remains just outside of his reach.

**Author's Note:**

> Dal Bootha    
>  Chandrila    
>  Oro bark    
>  Dricklefruit    
>  Doreen    
>  Namana custard    
>  Doreenian ambergris    
>  Cyrene silk 


End file.
